i was looking through some pictures today.. old pictures.. i notice that i used to have this really terrible "bad girl" look a couple of years back.. i remember when i first graduated from secondary school, first thing i did was to tell my sis i wanna die my hair.. we went to leisure mall and died it blonde.. i actually had golden hair for a year and a half but i cant really remember how it was like... until just now.. i feel really old right now.. i guess im just plain boring.. here are some pic i was going through..


my sis used to be that short, yes..


i think this was 2 years back when i just started college..

I also came across some old pics of my bro.. i think it was 2 or 3 years back.. god, i miss his adorable little face.. when he was still tiny, and thin.. my sis and i used to plan how we were gonna dress him up and make all the teenage girls fall for him.. :(


yeah.. the more i looked at old pics.. the more i miss my sis.. it's been 3 years since i saw her..i was asking myself the other day, will it be the same when she comes back.. now, sometimes when she calls, i cant even bring myself to talk.. i'd normally pass the phone to my mum or dad and when they ask me whether i had anything to say, i'd say no.. it's just weird to try to think of something to say.. we used to be really close.. we'd have prep sessions.. we could just talk for hours about our lives.. even when she was living outside then, when she came home we'd still be the closest people.. she had been my big sis since forever.. i tell her everything, good or bad cuz she's there to defend me even if i was in trouble.. i didnt care even if i had no frens cuz i'd follow her around.. i just feel so alone now.. everyone's growing up.. everyone's breaking out of their shells.. everyone's making something out of their lives.. eveeryone tries to have ppl around them.. i never really was a people person.. i feel comfortable being on my own.. not on my own.. just with ppl i like.. cuz i dun like a lot of ppl.. and ppl dun like me..im loud, yeah.. im loud when i have ppl i like there.. i dun even know why im so hyper and i cant even get along with ppl.. it's just weird.. i know that being alone sucks.. i'll always have drama king.. but it just doesnt feel the same.. i really miss having her around..


this picture was taken when i was really sick.. we were at ocean park.. and my sis made me feel a whole lot better by mocking evertone that passed us.. i remember there was a girl with a gigantic mole on her leg.. a boy girl..

valentines day mood

valentines day is coming.. my second most favorite day of the year.. many of the people i know think it's a day not worth celebrating.. just a money making day for flower shops where couples just throw money around buying presents, going for expensive dinners,etc.. they say, "it should be valentines day everyday, u should treat ur gf the way u treat her on valentines day not cuz it's a one day celebration".. as if! they seriously think they're gonna buy flowers for their gfs everyday? or go out and have something special, get her presents everyday? i bet not.. it's true u have to love ur gf/bf everyday, treat them well, be there for them, yes i totally agree.. i myself talk to drama king every single day, say i love you every night and it doesnt change my feelings for him even if it's valentines day or any other day for that matter.. i still think valentines day is a day worth celebrating.. i love the fact that one day was chosen, this particularly special one was chosen where all couples crack their minds trying to think of something awesome to do for their partners, to remind them that ure the special someone that means so much to me, i've chosen you to spend this very special day with.. and i put effort into being with u cuz i love u.. even if there's nth special planned, it still feels special.. ohh.. and also the fact that i love surprises.. and i love to see how drama king looks when i surprise him.. :p

that's really not the only reason.. 14th of february is special to me cuz 5 years ago on this day, i got my first ever valentine request.. and guess who it was from.. :p so drama king, i know coming from me, might sound fake.. :( but i dun expect much.. im just glad u'll be seeing me this year.. since it's first day of cny and u might wanna earn more money to buy me all the stuffs that u owe me instead of seeing me.. just get me the unicorn u promised me 5 years ago.. i love you..

baby. get well soon okay? :( it pains me to see you in so much pain. i love you

i remember this part in the movie 500 days of summer.. the girl told the guy, "everything happens for a reason".. what if she didnt go to the cafe on that particular afternoon.. what if she wasnt reading a book, and the stranger didnt approach her.. she wouldnt have finally found "the one"..

it got me thinking.. what if i didnt drive to the board meeting.. what if i went for dinner with nucky.. what if i went back home straight after the meeting.. would i have gotten into an accident? and what was the reason for the accident then? to meet some hot middle eastern guys? to realise that i should never drive again? or was it a way to help me grow by letting me experience something everyone should in fact experience?

doesnt really matter.. the important thing is, thank god i watched zombieland! one of the rules - always put on ur safety belt..

let me tell u abit about the accident..
it was raining heavily.. was listening to some really bad music on the radio, reached a traffic light, it turned red, i braked, i got banged.. we stopped at the side.. 4 middle eastern guys against one little girl.. called drama king, he came.. we talked, got their numbers.. :p they left.. after that i cried in the rain and wet drama king's shirt, we had bak kut teh and went home..

it was pretty much a scary experience.. i've been so messed up since then.. didnt feel like doing any work.. and my leng chai lecturer's class is tomoro.. i havent even done his work.. sigh..

everything happens for a reason?

i was at drama king's house last week.. we were eating noodles for lunch.. as usual after our meal, he'd wash the dishes while i stand next to him looking like im actually helping.. this time he told me to pour the soup into the plastic bag which he was holding.. i was delighted to help but the clumsy ass that i was, the bowl slipped off my fingers and fell into the sink breaking the bowl that was already in there.. well, i was gonna cry already cuz i was sure drama king was gonna scold me or scream like a girl.. but he didnt.. the first thing he said was "oh my god, are u hurt?".. my heart totally melted.. he was so worried about me getting hurt he didnt even realise i just broke one of his bowls.. :p and i was so worried about him getting angry it didnt even cross my mind i could've gotten slashed by the broken pieces.. anyway, we had to face his mum after that and he pretty much took the blame for it..